One of us is not ready, so we would like to write first
Posted as write_to_us_a_year
- Looking for
- a couple who would correspond for months before anybody meets
- Experience
- Five years together, two years of talking about this and nothing else.
- Around
- Croix-Rousse, Lyon
One of us wants to do this and one of us wants to want to, and after two years of conversation we have arrived at something that suits us both. We would like to write to another couple, properly and at length, for a long time, before anybody suggests being in a room together.
Twenty nine and thirty one, up the hill, together five years. She is the one who is ready. He is the one who is not, and he has read every word of this and has asked me to say that he is neither being dragged along nor pretending.
What we mean by writing is not messages. Long letters, once a week or so, about what all four of us actually want and are frightened of, over months. We think that if we all still want to meet after six months of that, it will be a very different meeting from the ones people describe on here.
We know this is a peculiar request and that it asks a great deal with nothing certain at the end. We would say two things. It is the only version of this that gets him there, and a couple who would enjoy that kind of correspondence is probably right for us anyway.
In this city we are also aware that a long exchange of letters is a safer way to work out whether we already know each other, which we would much rather discover on paper. Not looking for anyone who would treat the writing as a hurdle. Not looking for a couple in a hurry. Not looking to be told he will be fine once he tries it, which is what the last people said, and which is not how any of this works.