An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Submissives the east of the city, Lyon

The first three times, same place, same hour, or I will not manage it

Posted as same_hour_every_time

Looking for
a dominant who can be boringly predictable at the beginning
Experience
Four years, mostly typed, two meetings that went badly for reasons of my own.
Around
the east of the city, Lyon

I have an anxiety disorder that makes new situations extremely expensive for me, and the way I manage it is by removing every variable I can. What that means here is that the first three meetings need to be the same place, the same day of the week and the same hour. If that sounds rigid, it is because it is.

Twenty nine, submissive, east of the city, four years in and most of it typed. I have met two people. Both times I got there, sat down, and was so busy managing myself that I contributed nothing at all, and both of them reasonably concluded I was not interested.

What I have learned since is that repetition fixes it. By the third time in the same chair I am a completely different person, funny apparently, and much more direct than anybody would guess from this post. I simply need to be allowed to get there.

What I want after that is a dynamic with a great deal of structure, because structure is what my whole life runs on anyway. Rules, routines, a set evening, being answerable. I suspect I would be unusually easy to lead and unusually hard to start with.

I explain all of this at length because in a city this size I would rather be understood than get more replies. Not looking for anyone who wants to surprise me, ever, at any stage. Not looking for a person who reads the above as fragility, because I hold down a demanding job and I am good at it. Not looking to be somebody's exercise in patience.

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