An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Switches Lavapiés, Madrid

Madrid, switch, and my gender is not the interesting part

Posted as not_the_first_question

Looking for
someone who gets the curiosity out of the way in one message
Experience
Six years, both directions, one dynamic of two years.
Around
Lavapiés, Madrid

I am non binary and I have made my peace with people being curious, because they are, and pretending otherwise would be exhausting. What I have not made peace with is spending four messages on it before anybody asks me a single question about what I actually want from a dynamic.

So let me answer it here and then move on. Neither. Both, depending. I do not mind which words you use as long as you are consistent, and if you get it wrong and correct yourself without a ceremony, that is completely fine and I will think better of you for it. Inside a scene I care much more about how somebody speaks to me than about the vocabulary they choose.

Twenty nine, Madrid, switch, six years in. One dynamic that ran two years and ended well. I lead with people who want a light hand and I follow with people who are genuinely competent, and I can tell which somebody is within about ten minutes of watching them handle a small disagreement.

What I want now is something ongoing with one person, seen once or twice a week, with room to move between the two sides of it without a negotiation each time.

Not looking for anybody whose interest in me is mostly anthropological. Not looking to educate anybody, though I am happy to answer a reasonable question once. Not looking for someone who needs me to pick a lane before they can decide how to feel.

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