An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

Signed out. You are reading, not posting. Log In Sign Up

Switches Chamberí, Madrid

Fifty eight, been at this since before any of you could search for it

Posted as before_the_internet

Looking for
someone with a conversation in them and a bit of patience
Experience
Thirty one years. I have watched the whole thing change twice.
Around
Chamberí, Madrid

When I started, you found people by knowing someone who knew someone, and if you were wrong about a person there was no way to check and no one to ask. I am not nostalgic about it. It was worse in every respect except one, which is that nobody wasted your time, because nobody had any to waste.

Fifty eight, Madrid, switch, thirty one years. I have seen this go from something whispered about to something with vocabulary, workshops and disagreements about terminology, and most of that is progress and I say so.

What I have not adjusted to is the pace of the conversation now. Four messages and then silence. Enthusiasm on Tuesday and nothing on Thursday. I understand there are more options than there were and that this is what abundance does to people, and I still find it rude, and I am too old to pretend I do not.

What I want: one person, either direction, for a long time. I lead more than I follow and I am better at following. I am healthy, I am busy, I have a life full of things that are not this.

I am not going to teach anyone the basics, not out of unkindness but because I have done it four times and it always ends with me being a stepping stone, which is fine and which I am finished with. If you write, tell me something true. I do not need it to be clever.

Reply to this post Replies go through your account, not this page. Nothing you send is published here.

Before you answer this

The handbook covers the part that comes next. These three are the ones that matter to a post like this one.

Also in Madrid

All posts in Madrid →

You have read one. Now write one.

Write a post like this where the people reading it are near you, and answer the ones that are already there.

Write your post Already a member? Log in