Fifteen years away, back at fifty two, and none of it is familiar
Posted as fifteen_years_away
- Looking for
- somebody patient with a person relearning the whole vocabulary
- Experience
- Six years in my thirties, fifteen years away, four months back.
- Around
- Fort Lauderdale, Miami
I was in this properly from twenty eight to thirty four. Then I married a man who would have been horrified, and I put it away, and it stayed away for fifteen years until the marriage ended last summer and I found myself reading about it again at two in the morning like a teenager.
Fifty two, Fort Lauderdale, submissive, four months back and moving slowly on purpose.
Everything has changed. The way people negotiate now is better than anything we did and I am genuinely glad about it. It also means I turn up with experience that is half obsolete: I know things in my body that will never need explaining, and I will get other things wrong in ways that are fifteen years out of date.
What I want is somebody who does not mind that combination. I do not need to be taught from nothing and I do not want to be treated as though I have never done any of it.
I am not in a hurry. I would like to meet in daylight, talk for an hour, and see. I have a job I like, two grown children who know nothing about this and never will, and a small apartment I can host in.
What I will not do is talk at length about the marriage. It ended. I am not carrying it into this.