Four months at sea, two months home, and that is my year
Posted as four_months_at_sea
- Looking for
- somebody who can hold something together across a long absence
- Experience
- Eleven years, and every one of them arranged around a contract.
- Around
- Fort Lauderdale, Miami
I work on ships. Four months on, two months off, and during the four months I have poor connection, no privacy, and a cabin I share. During the two months I am home in Fort Lauderdale with absolutely nothing to do and more attention to give than most people know what to do with.
Thirty seven, submissive, eleven years in. Every dynamic I have had has been built around this schedule and two of them broke on it.
What I have learned is what actually survives the four months. Not daily contact, because I cannot promise it. What works is a set of expectations I keep on my own, written down before I leave, that I report on when I can. One of the best stretches I ever had was eleven weeks where we exchanged messages perhaps twice a week and I kept to a structure the whole time because it was hers, not mine.
When I am home I am completely available and I mean it. No commute, no obligations, whole weeks.
What does not work is somebody who needs constant reassurance, or who treats a week of silence as a decision I have made about them. It is a steel box in the middle of the ocean. It is not a comment on you, and if you cannot hear it that way we will both be miserable by my second contract.