An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Couples the north, Moscow

Two submissives, married nine years, and we have never had anyone to lead us

Posted as both_of_us_sub

Looking for
a dominant interested in a pair rather than a person
Experience
Nine years together, both of us submissive, and no experience with anybody else.
Around
the north, Moscow

We worked out what we both were about two years into the marriage and had a genuinely funny evening about it, followed by a much longer period of not knowing what to do with the information. Two submissives is a lovely thing to be in a marriage and a slightly useless thing to be on a Friday night.

Thirty eight and forty, the north, nine years married, no children, two demanding jobs in health administration and a shared inability to make a decision about where to eat.

What we would like is a dominant who is interested in leading two people. We know that is a narrow ask. We have read enough to know that most people want one person and that a couple is more complicated than double, and we would rather say we understand that at the start than have somebody explain it to us kindly in the third message.

What we imagine, and we say imagine because none of this has ever happened: something regular and domestic. Expectations for each of us and some for both. A woman or a man, older than us ideally, with the patience to handle two people who will occasionally gang up out of nerves.

We have never done anything with anyone outside the marriage. That is either appealing or alarming depending on who you are. Not looking for anybody who wants only one of us, and we will be immediately clear if that is what is happening. Not looking to be a novelty. Not looking for a first meeting that is anything other than a long conversation with all three of us at a table.

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