An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Submissives Brooklyn, New York

Back after ten years away, and the whole thing has changed

Posted as back_after_ten

Looking for
someone patient with a person relearning the basics
Experience
Four years in my twenties, ten years away, three months back.
Around
Brooklyn, New York

I was deep in this from twenty three to twenty seven. Then I married someone who was not interested, and I put it in a box, and the box stayed shut for ten years, and now I am divorced and thirty nine and standing in front of the box again.

Everything is different. The language is different. Half the words people use now I have had to look up. The way people negotiate has changed for the better and I am genuinely glad about it, but it does mean I turn up with experience that is partly obsolete.

Brooklyn, submissive, three months back and moving slowly on purpose. I have been to two socials and mostly listened.

What I want is a dominant who does not mind that I am half a beginner and half not. Some things I know in my body and will never need explaining. Other things I will get wrong in ways that are twenty years out of date, and I will need correcting without being made to feel foolish about it.

I am not looking for anything intense in the first months. I am not looking for someone who wants to hear about my marriage in any detail. And I am not in a rush, because the last time I was in a rush I made a decision that cost me a decade of this and I am not doing that twice.

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