An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Couples the inner suburbs, Paris

She does this and I do not, and we are both writing anyway

Posted as he_is_not_in_it

Looking for
a submissive man for her, with me nowhere in the room
Experience
Married eighteen years. She has led for six of them, elsewhere.
Around
the inner suburbs, Paris

I am the husband and I am writing the first paragraph because every previous version of this post was written by her alone and every reply assumed I was either unaware or unhappy. I am neither. I simply have no interest in any of it, in the way that I have no interest in her running, which she also does without me.

She leads. She has done for six years, with two people in that time, both arrangements ending for ordinary reasons. What she is looking for is a submissive man for something long and structured and regular.

My part in this is that I know, I approve, and I am not present. I am not watching, I am not participating, and I am not going to be introduced. What I am is the reason she can do this openly rather than in secret, and the person she talks to about it afterwards.

We are putting both of us in the post because the men who write to her frequently spend three messages trying to establish whether she is being honest about her marriage, and it is easier to answer that once, here, in my own words. She is forty five, I am forty seven, we are in Paris and we have been married eighteen years.

She will answer everything from here on and I will not appear again. If that arrangement sounds strange to you, it is genuinely more ordinary from inside than it looks from outside, and if it still sounds strange after a conversation, then we are not the right people.

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