What I actually want is a dominant who will say no to me
Posted as someone_who_will_refuse
- Looking for
- somebody with the confidence to refuse things I ask for
- Experience
- Twenty six years, four dynamics, and one recurring problem.
- Around
- the 11th, Paris
In twenty six years I have never once been refused anything I asked for, and I have come to understand that this is the reason none of it lasted. I ask for a great deal. I am persuasive, I am articulate, and I have talked four different dominants into arrangements that suited me and eventually exhausted them.
Fifty five, Paris, submissive. I am not proud of the pattern and it took a friend saying it out loud for me to see it. I do not want to be in charge. I have simply never met anybody willing to disappoint me, and I have taken every inch that was offered.
So what I am looking for is quite specific. Somebody who will hear a well argued request and say no, without a discussion, and not feel obliged to explain. Somebody who sets the shape of the thing rather than assembling it from my preferences. Somebody who is not flattered by being wanted.
That is a harder thing to advertise for than it sounds, because everybody thinks they can do it, and I am extremely good at finding the edge where they cannot. I want service, structure and correction, and I want almost none of it to be my idea. I live alone, I can host, my hours are ordinary and my weekends are free.
I should say plainly that I will test this, probably without meaning to. I would rather warn you now than have you discover it in month five and conclude, as three people have, that I was never really submissive at all.