An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Dominants the north zone, Rio de Janeiro

Thirty, new to leading, and unwilling to pretend otherwise

Posted as new_at_leading

Looking for
an experienced submissive who is patient with somebody starting out
Experience
Eight years submitting. Four months on the other side of it.
Around
the north zone, Rio de Janeiro

Everybody on this side of the board writes as though they have always known what they were doing. I have been leading for four months and I am not going to invent a decade to look more credible.

Thirty, north zone. Eight years submitting before this, three of them in one long dynamic, and then a slow realisation over about two years that I wanted the other side and had been avoiding admitting it because it felt like a betrayal of something.

What I bring is eight years of knowing exactly how it feels from the other end. I know what a badly held rule does to a person. I know what it costs to report honestly and be met badly. That is not the same as experience and I am not pretending it is.

What I am looking for is somebody experienced who is comfortable being led by a person still learning the shape of it. I know that is an unusual ask and that it inverts the usual arrangement. I would want to talk a great deal, go slowly, and be told when I have got something wrong rather than have it absorbed politely.

I live in the north zone with a flatmate, so hosting is complicated, and I am free most evenings. Not looking for a beginner, because two of us learning at once is how the bad stories start. Not looking for anybody who finds the situation amusing. Not looking to be tested.

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