I have no interest in an evening. I want a way of living
Posted as rules_not_scenes
- Looking for
- a long dynamic with daily obligations and very few events
- Experience
- Ten years, two dynamics, both of them daily rather than occasional.
- Around
- Niterói side, Rio de Janeiro
Almost everything I read on boards like this is organised around an occasion. An evening. A session. Something you prepare for and then recover from. I have done a handful of those over ten years and I have never once wanted another one.
Thirty six, Niterói side, submissive. What I want is the ordinary version. Something I do when I wake up. A standard about how I keep my flat. A message at a fixed hour. Permission to be asked for. Small obligations that are boring individually and enormous in aggregate.
Both of my dynamics ran that way, one for three years and one for four, and in both of them we were physically together perhaps twice a month, which was plenty, because the thing was happening all the time rather than in a room.
The advantage for anybody reading this is that the water between us stops mattering much. I do not need you nearby. I need you consistent. I work fixed hours, I live alone, and I am extremely orderly, which is either the appeal or the problem depending on who you ask.
Not looking for anybody who wants to plan an evening as the centre of it. Not looking for a person who will set rules enthusiastically in week one and forget to check them by week five, which is what happened the one time I tried this with somebody new to it. Not looking for pain in any form.