An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Submissives the inner city, Sydney

Daylight, in public, the first three times, and it is not up for discussion

Posted as only_in_daylight

Looking for
a dominant who reads all of that as ordinary rather than as a hurdle
Experience
Four years, two good dynamics, both of which started very slowly.
Around
the inner city, Sydney

I only meet people in daylight, in public, for the first three times. That is not negotiable and it is not a comment on you. I have my reasons, they are mine, and anybody who needs to hear them before agreeing is telling me something useful about themselves.

Thirty, the inner city, submissive, four years in. In winter this is a real constraint, because the light is gone by five and I work until half past. In practice it means weekend mornings until about September, which is slow, and I have made my peace with slow.

What I want is a dominant who reads all of that as ordinary. The two people I have had good dynamics with both said some version of yes, that is sensible, in the first message and then never mentioned it again. Everybody else has treated it as an opening position to be negotiated down, usually by about week three.

Underneath the caution I am not a nervous person. I am direct, I ask a great many questions, and I want something long term with real structure in it rather than an evening here and there.

Not looking for anybody who wants photographs early. Not looking for anybody who will suggest their place for a first meeting and then take offence. Not looking for anybody who describes themselves as safe, which in my experience is a word that achieves the opposite of what the person intends.

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