An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Switches the west end, Toronto

Switch, forty five, and honestly friendship would be enough

Posted as friends_first_only

Looking for
people who know this about me and find it unremarkable
Experience
Thirteen years, two long relationships, none of my friends aware of any of it.
Around
the west end, Toronto

I am going to admit something that will cost me replies. If this only ever became a friendship I would be perfectly happy. I am not saying that as a soft opening or as a way of seeming safe. I mean it literally.

Forty five, the west end, switch, thirteen years in. Two long relationships with this inside them, both ended, and what I have missed most since is not what you would expect. It is not scenes. It is having somebody in my life who knows this about me and finds it unremarkable. Somewhere to say a sentence out loud without a preamble in front of it.

I have a good life and a lot of friends. Not one of them knows. That gap turns out to be lonelier than being single ever was.

So I would like to know some people. Coffee, a walk, a long argument about something unrelated. If somewhere down the line one of those became something more, wonderful. If not, I would still count this post a success, which I accept makes me an odd fit for a personals board.

I switch, I have no strong preference either way, and I am at my best in a slow ongoing thing rather than an evening. I do not want a pen pal, though, and I want to be clear about that. I mean people I would actually see. Not looking for anybody who wants somebody else to be their entire social world, because I have been that for a person and it went badly.

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