An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Switches the west end, Toronto

Twenty five, anxious, and worried mainly about wasting your time

Posted as i_will_overthink

Looking for
somebody experienced who reads the nervous paragraphs as information
Experience
Two years, mostly reading, and one kind person who then moved away.
Around
the west end, Toronto

The thing I am most worried about is wasting somebody's time. That worry took three weeks to turn into this post and it will probably read as though it took three minutes, which is roughly how everything about me works.

Twenty five, the west end, switch, two years in and most of that spent reading. I have done a small amount with one person who was kind about it and then moved away for work. So I have some idea of what I like and almost no evidence for any of it.

What I am afraid of, listed honestly, because it seems better than performing a confidence I do not have: that I will be too much work, that I will not know what to say in the moment, that I will realise halfway through that I want the opposite of what I asked for. That last one has happened once. The person handled it well and I still think about how much worse it could have gone.

What I want is somebody experienced and patient, in either direction, who treats the anxious paragraphs as information rather than as a warning. I am not fragile. I am careful, and I get much steadier once I know where the edges are.

I share a place with two other people so I cannot host. I can travel anywhere in the city and my hours are odd, mostly free in the daytime. Not looking for anybody who says they love a nervous beginner, which I have learned to read as a particular kind of appetite. Not looking to be rushed into picking a side.

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