I am Deaf, and the practical list is much shorter than people fear
Posted as watch_my_hands
- Looking for
- somebody who will read the list once and then stop mentioning it
- Experience
- Four years, several partners, a better time than I expected to have.
- Around
- downtown, Toronto
I am Deaf. I sign, I lipread reasonably well in good light with somebody facing me, and I have discovered that a great deal of what people here consider basic safety practice quietly assumes you can hear a word said behind your shoulder.
Twenty nine, downtown, switch, four years in. Here is what actually matters, which is much less than people fear. The light stays on, or the room stays bright enough for hands. Nothing behind me that I have not agreed to. Blindfolds are out. We agree a physical signal that works in both directions and we use it more often than you would expect, because it is our entire channel.
That is genuinely the list. Everything else has been fine, and I have had a far better time in this than I expected to when I started.
What I am tired of is the two responses I get. One is the person who decides I must be fragile and begins negotiating downwards before we have met. The other is the person who says none of it will be a problem and then, in the room, keeps talking to the side of my head.
I switch, I lead slightly more often, and when I lead I am extremely quiet, which is funnier to me than it should be. Not looking to teach anybody sign language as a project. Not looking for anybody who wants to describe this as inspiring. Not looking for a first meeting somewhere loud, which rules out most of what people suggest.