From December to March the sidewalk decides where I can go
Posted as ice_not_metaphor
- Looking for
- a dominant who treats a bad day as information and then carries on
- Experience
- Nine years, three dynamics, one of them very good indeed.
- Around
- the east end, Toronto
From December to March the sidewalk decides where I can go. I use a cane, my balance is unreliable on a good day, and a stretch of untreated ice between a road and a front door is not an inconvenience for me. It is a fall and eight weeks of consequences.
Forty one, the east end, submissive, nine years in. What that means for anybody writing to me: in winter I need to know what is between the car and the door. That is not fussiness, and it is the single most useful thing you can find out before you suggest anywhere.
The rest of the year I am much less complicated than that paragraph makes me sound. I get around, I work full time, I have a life. My condition is stable and boring and I am not looking for anybody to manage it.
What I want is a dominant who treats a bad day as information. I will tell you when something is not possible, plainly, without a discussion about whether I have really tried. The dynamics that have worked involved somebody who adjusted without comment and then carried on exactly as before, which is the whole trick, and almost nobody manages it.
I like service, structure, and being useful in ways that do not require me to be on my feet. There is a great deal I can do. Not looking for sympathy in the first message. Not looking for somebody who asks what happened before they ask my name. Not looking to be anybody's evidence that they are a good person.