I am not looking for another switch. I am looking for two people
Posted as one_each_way
- Looking for
- one person to submit to and one who submits to me, both knowing
- Experience
- Six years, three attempts at switching with another switch, three failures.
- Around
- downtown, Toronto
I am not looking for another switch. I have tried it three times and every one of them turned into a scheduling problem in which two people negotiated whose turn it was to want something. What I am looking for is two different people: one I submit to, one who submits to me, both of them knowing about the other from the beginning.
Thirty four, downtown, six years in. I am aware that posting for two people at once is greedy and faintly ridiculous, and I have decided that saying it plainly is better than running two separate half honest conversations.
The two halves of me are not equal and they are not related to each other. When I submit I want something formal, structured and reasonably strict. When I lead I am much softer, slower and more attentive, and the people who have been on that side of me would not recognise the description of the other side.
The reason I want them separate is that inside one relationship the flip always became the subject. Every conversation ended up being about the mechanics of switching rather than about anything else. Split across two people, the question simply never comes up.
I can host, I live alone downtown, I work normal hours. Not looking for anybody who wants to be told they are the more important one, because that question is coming and my answer is that they are different, not ranked. Not looking for anybody who finds the arrangement itself so interesting that they want to discuss it weekly.