i’ve had a profile up for two months. decent matches appear, i read their profiles five times, i draft an opener, i delete it. repeat. i think i’ve sent three messages total and i sweated over each one like it was a court filing.
part of it is regular shyness, i’m like this in person too. but part of it is sub-specific if that makes sense? some corner of my brain has decided that messaging a dominant first is presumptuous, like i’m skipping a queue that exists only in my head. i know that’s not a rule anywhere. knowing hasn’t helped.
for the shy people who got past this: what actually worked? scripts, rules, mindset tricks, anything, i will take homework at this point. and for the dominants here: does a sub messaging first ever read badly from your side of the screen? i’d rather find out the fear has a basis than keep guessing.
