six months into something with somebody two hours away and i want to hear from people who have done this for longer.
the arrangement: every other weekend, alternating who travels, friday evening to sunday afternoon. in between it is messages and a call on wednesdays. it works. i want to be clear that it works and that i am not asking whether to end it.
what i am noticing is a kind of low level tiredness that has nothing to do with the relationship. the fortnight in between has a shape now that i did not choose. the week before a visit is spent looking forward to it and the week after is spent recovering from the drive, and somewhere in there my own life has quietly reorganised itself around a timetable.
there is also the thing nobody mentions, which is that every visit has to be worth two hours of motorway, and that is a lot of pressure to put on a saturday.
people who have done this long term: what made it sustainable? and did you eventually change something, or does it just become normal?
