An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Dominants the west, Amsterdam

The only person you do this with, and not the only person you see

Posted as exclusive_in_one_thing

Looking for
one submissive for a long dynamic inside an open life
Experience
Thirteen years, two long dynamics, both run this way.
Around
the west, Amsterdam

I want to be the only person you do this with. I do not want to be the only person you see, sleep with or fall in love with. Those two sentences take most people a while, so I put them first.

Forty, dominant woman, in the west, thirteen years in, and nine years into an open relationship with somebody who is not part of this at all and knows everything about it.

The reason for the arrangement is not jealousy. It is that a dynamic is built out of consistency, and a submissive answering to two people is running two sets of standards, which I have watched fail three times from close range. Everything else in your life is genuinely your own business. I will ask about it because I am interested, not because I am checking.

What I want is a long dynamic with one submissive of any gender, structure through the week, and a decent amount of contact. I am organised, blunt in writing, and reportedly much warmer in a room than on a page.

Not looking for anybody who wants a primary partner, because that place is taken and it is not moving. Not looking for a person who agrees to exclusivity in this and then quietly does not. Not looking to have the general debate about whether open relationships work, since mine has outlasted most of the marriages I know.

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