Fourteen first meetings in a year and not one decision between them
Posted as fourteen_coffees
- Looking for
- a dominant who will decide something after the second meeting
- Experience
- Six years, one real dynamic, a great many pleasant afternoons.
- Around
- the ring, Amsterdam
Fourteen first meetings in a year. Every one of them pleasant. Not a single one turned into anything, and somewhere around the ninth I stopped assuming the problem was chemistry and started assuming it was that nobody here ever decides.
Thirty six, submissive, just outside the ring, six years in. The pattern: we meet, we get on well, we message for a week, and then it dissolves into maybe next weeks until one of us stops replying. It is nobody's fault and everybody's fault, and it is the particular disease of a city where nothing is far away and therefore nothing is ever urgent.
So my ask has nothing to do with kink. Decide. After the second meeting, tell me whether you want this. I will do the same, and I will not be hurt by a no, because a no in week two is a kindness next to eight weeks of drift.
For the record: an ongoing dynamic with one person, obedience inside a real structure, and somebody older than me.
Not looking for a pen friend. Not looking for somebody whose diary is genuinely full until October. Not looking to be told I am impatient, because I have been remarkably patient and I have fourteen coffees to show for it.