An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Submissives the east, Amsterdam

Living in a friend's spare room and posting anyway

Posted as spare_room_of_a_friend

Looking for
structure while every other part of my life is temporary
Experience
Eight years, three dynamics, the longest of them two years.
Around
the east, Amsterdam

Six months ago my relationship ended and a friend offered me his spare room for a few weeks. I am still in it. He has been generous about it well past the point where generosity is comfortable for either of us, and I am on three waiting lists that move about as fast as you would expect.

So this may be a poor moment to write a post like this. Thirty three, submissive, east side, eight years in. Everything about my life is provisional at the minute except the thing I want, which has not changed since I was twenty two.

What I want is structure while nothing else has any. Somebody who sets a small number of expectations and then actually holds them. I am not asking to be looked after and I am not in crisis. I go to work, I see people, I cook, I am fine. I would simply like one part of the week to have a shape that somebody else decided on.

I cannot host and will not be able to for a long time. I can travel anywhere in the city on any evening and I am free far more often than most people my age.

Not looking for anybody who reads an unsettled patch as a project. Not looking to discuss my ex, at any point. Not looking for something that only happens when it is convenient, since convenient is not a thing my life currently produces.

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