An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Dominants the ring, Amsterdam

This used to be most of my life and now it is one evening

Posted as i_scaled_it_back

Looking for
a submissive who wants something weekly, serious and contained
Experience
Twenty five years, a long burnout in the middle, four years back.
Around
the ring, Amsterdam

For about eight years this was most of my life. Everything outside work was arranged around it, and I burned out of it in a way I did not recognise at the time and would now call fairly obvious.

Fifty, dominant man, just inside the ring, twenty five years in and roughly four years back after a long pause.

What I want now is one evening a week and a modest amount of contact around it. That is the whole offer. It is considerably less than I used to want and it is far better than what I used to have. I mention it because plenty of people arrive in this expecting it to expand until it fills everything, and I have done that, and the version that lasts is the smaller one.

Inside that evening I want a proper dynamic with a submissive who takes it seriously. Structure, standards, and a real conversation afterwards about what worked and what did not. Outside it I would like us both to have lives that are not this.

Not looking for anybody who wants to be owned in a way that touches every hour of their week. Not looking for someone who will read a limit on time as a lack of interest, because it is the opposite and I learned it expensively. Not looking to be talked back into intensity, which I would enjoy for four months and then vanish from, and that is not a risk I am willing to hand to another person. If what you want is to be somebody's whole world, I understand the appeal and I have been there, and you should keep looking rather than take a smaller version of it from me.

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