Arrived in September and I still do not know how this is done here
Posted as nobody_told_me
- Looking for
- somebody who will explain how any of this actually works
- Experience
- None at all. Six years of knowing and no action taken.
- Around
- the west, Amsterdam
I came here in September for a master's and I have done nothing about this since, because I genuinely do not know how it works and I am too proud to ask anybody in person. So I am asking in writing, where nobody can watch my face while I do it.
Twenty five, submissive, in the west, sharing with three people I like. I have known what I am since I was about nineteen. I have never acted on it once.
The etiquette is what defeats me. How direct is too direct in a first message. Whether it is rude to ask somebody their experience. What people mean by a coffee first, and whether it means here what it meant at home. Where I grew up all of this is much more hidden, and the little I picked up there does not seem to apply.
What I want eventually is a long dynamic with someone who leads properly. What I want first is to talk to a person who will answer obvious questions without laughing, and who understands that being new is not the same as being naive about people.
Not looking for anyone in a hurry to meet. Not looking to be anybody's first anything, since I will already be my own. Not looking for a person who assumes that because I am new my limits must be provisional. I have had six years to think about them.