An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Couples the ring, Amsterdam

Two of us, one dominant, and two entirely separate arrangements

Posted as separate_not_shared

Looking for
one dominant willing to run two dynamics that never meet
Experience
Four years each, two joint attempts, both of them awkward.
Around
the ring, Amsterdam

We are both submissive and we are both looking for the same dominant, but not together. We want separate dynamics with one person, run separately, and we have thought about this a great deal more than that sentence makes it sound.

Thirty eight and forty one, married eleven years, just inside the ring. We found this at roughly the same time, four years ago, and the thing we learned fastest is that we want completely different things from it. What he wants is service and structure. What I want has almost nothing in common with that.

Joint arrangements have not worked for us. Twice now, and on both occasions one of us ended up spectating politely while the other had the evening. So the proposal is one dominant, two dynamics, separate sessions, separate agreements, and no expectation that we are ever in the same room for any of it.

Why one person rather than two? Honestly, trust. We would rather know somebody thoroughly than manage two sets of introductions, and we like the idea of a household that all three of us understand.

Not looking for anybody who wants a couple in the usual sense. Not looking for a person who will end up preferring one of us and going quiet on the other, which is our real fear and we would rather name it now. Not looking to rush any part of this.

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