There are already three of us and she has read this post
Posted as already_three_of_us
- Looking for
- one more connection inside a structure that already works
- Experience
- Fourteen years as a couple, five years as three.
- Around
- the south, Amsterdam
There are already three of us. That is the thing to understand before anything else. We are a couple of fourteen years, there has been a third person in the arrangement for the last five, she is not going anywhere, and she has read this post and corrected one line of it.
Forty two, forty five and thirty nine, all in the south within a few streets of one another, which took some doing in this market.
What we want is not a replacement and not an upgrade. It is one further connection, most likely with one of us specifically, inside a structure that already works. Realistically that means somebody comfortable being the newest person in a group with years of shorthand, and not hoping to be promoted out of it.
We are all reasonably experienced, we have a written set of agreements that gets revised every spring, and we are unusually tedious about scheduling because with three diaries you have no choice.
Two of us lead and one follows, which is not the shape most people assume when they hear the arrangement described. Not looking for anybody who wants to be part of everything immediately. Not looking for a person who finds an established group intimidating, which is fair, and which is why we would go very slowly. Not looking for someone who thinks a fourth is a way of testing whether a third works, since that experiment concluded five years ago. What would help enormously is if you have been the newest person in something before and know how that feels, because the first six months are strange and there is no way of skipping them.