Completely new, twenty six, Berlin, and I have rewritten this
Posted as cold_radiator
- Looking for
- someone patient enough to explain things twice
- Experience
- None at all. Reading for about a year.
- Around
- Neukölln, Berlin
I have started this post four times and deleted it three, and the reason is that I keep trying to sound like I know things. I do not know things. That is the honest position and I am going to leave it in.
Twenty six, studying, in Berlin two years, broke in the way students are broke. I have known I am submissive since I was about twenty and I have done nothing about it except read, which I have now done a great deal of. I can define words I have never experienced, which I understand is its own kind of useless.
What I think I want is to be told what to do by somebody who has done this before and is not in a hurry. Small things first. I would like to understand what a scene actually feels like before I decide what I want from one.
I am nervous about meeting anyone and I would want the first time to be public and short, with a friend knowing where I am. I hope that does not read as distrust. It is just what I need in order to relax.
I am not looking for anyone who wants photographs to decide. I am not looking to move fast, and if I say I need to slow down I would like that met with a yes rather than a discussion. I know I sound apologetic. I am working on it, and I would rather be honest now than perform confidence and then freeze.