Berlin, switch, and a city this size is the only reason this works
Posted as every_other_week
- Looking for
- someone who can work with a fixed fortnightly pattern
- Experience
- Seventeen years, both roles, lately more leading.
- Around
- Prenzlauer Berg, Berlin
Berlin is big enough that I can have an entire second life in it and never once walk into anybody from work, which sounds like a small thing and is in fact the reason any of this is possible for me. I work in one district and I do not go out in it.
Forty four, switch, seventeen years. I lead more than I follow now, though the following is not decorative and I would want a partner able to do both. What I am after is one person and a real arrangement, built slowly. I have done the weekend intensity thing and found it hollow. What I want is somebody I can talk to on a Wednesday about nothing, who happens also to be the person I would kneel for or expect kneeling from.
My children are with me half the time, so my availability runs on a fortnightly pattern and it is fixed. Nobody meets them and nothing happens at my house on those weeks. That is a firm rule and not a subject for discussion.
I like rope, protocol that is light but consistent, and negotiation that is honest about the awkward parts rather than only the exciting ones. I do not do public play and I do not do anything that would need explaining at a parents evening.
If you have written off everybody who is only free every other week, I would say that a fixed fortnight is easier to schedule than somebody theoretically always available who never actually is.