Berlin, forty seven, switch, precise about most things including this
Posted as in_writing_first
- Looking for
- someone who negotiates in writing without finding it strange
- Experience
- Nineteen years, both sides, three long arrangements.
- Around
- Prenzlauer Berg, Berlin
I negotiate in writing. Not out of coldness but because I have watched three arrangements go wrong over things both people were certain they had said out loud, and a shared document has never once made a scene worse.
Forty seven, Berlin, a switch with a genuine balance rather than the kind that means one thing with an escape clause. Nineteen years. Two of my three long arrangements ended well and I am on speaking terms with both people.
How I work: a conversation, then a written summary we both correct, then a meeting with nothing physical in it, then a first session with a very small scope. It sounds laborious. In practice it takes about two weeks and removes almost every argument I used to have.
I am interested in control more than sensation, in either direction. As a top I like structure and a long build. As a bottom I like being made to be still. I have no interest in humiliation of any kind and it is the one thing I will not try.
Berlin makes this easier than most places and harder in exactly one way. The pool is enormous and nobody here is embarrassed, and almost nobody wants to spend a fortnight on paperwork before an evening. If the process above puts you off, that is fair and we would probably not enjoy each other. If it sounds like a relief, I think we would get on. I would rather read as dull now than be a disappointment in a month.