Berlin, forty six, dominant, and I want something permanent
Posted as something_permanent
- Looking for
- a long arrangement rather than an experiment
- Experience
- Eighteen years, one dynamic of eleven years inside it.
- Around
- Friedrichshain, Berlin
I am looking for something permanent and I know that saying so frightens people off. It has frightened off four in two years. I have concluded that the ones it frightens were never going to be it anyway.
Forty six, Berlin, I run a small workshop. Eighteen years in this, eleven of them in one arrangement that ended when she wanted children and I did not, which remains the most reasonable reason anything of mine has ended.
Permanent means a long agreement, revisited yearly, with real obligations on both sides. It does not mean living together immediately and it does not mean anybody giving up work, family or a life of their own. I have watched people confuse commitment with confinement and it makes bad dynamics.
I lead calmly. I like structure, service, discipline for actual reasons, and rope. I am not interested in humiliation, in anything that requires an audience, or in playing with more than one person at a time. I am from the east of this city, and I mention it because there is a difference in how this gets talked about between the east and the west that people who arrived five years ago do not always notice. Less performance. More getting on with it.
I would want to go slowly at the start, which sounds contradictory next to the word permanent and is not. You cannot agree to years with somebody you met in March. I would expect a year before anything formal and I have the patience for it.