An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Switches Friedrichshain, Berlin

Back after ten years away, Berlin, switch, starting over

Posted as ten_years_away

Looking for
someone who understands that ten years is a long gap
Experience
Six years in my twenties, then a decade of nothing.
Around
Friedrichshain, Berlin

I was fairly deep in this until I was twenty six, then I married somebody who did not want to hear about it and I put the whole thing away for ten years. The marriage ended in January. So here I am at thirty six, technically experienced and functionally new.

What surprised me on coming back is how much the language has moved. Words I used are now the wrong words. Things that were normal in a room ten years ago are apparently not normal now, and I would rather be told than get it wrong loudly.

I switch. In my twenties I mostly bottomed. I suspect that will be different this time and I want room to find out rather than being cast immediately.

Berlin, I work in logistics, no children, a dog that limits how long I can be out. Weekends are easier than weeknights.

What I am hoping for is one person to work this out with over months, without either of us deciding in the second week what the whole thing is. That is slower than this board seems to move. What I do not want: to be somebody's project, or to be told I am brave for leaving, which people keep saying and which I find hard to take. And nothing with a person who is currently in the situation I was in. If your partner does not know and would not be all right with it, please do not write.

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