Berlin couple, she leads, looking for another couple who get it
Posted as two_of_us
- Looking for
- another couple where one of them leads and both are honest about it
- Experience
- Married sixteen years, this dynamic for the last seven.
- Around
- Prenzlauer Berg, Berlin
She runs our house and I asked her to. Seven years ago I put it badly, she took a month to think, and then she came back with terms stricter than anything I had suggested. That is the short version and it is still the best thing we have done.
We are both in our forties, married sixteen years, in Berlin. She is the dominant, I am not, and neither of us is looking to change roles or to add a third person.
What we would like is another couple in a similar arrangement. Somewhere to speak normally. People who understand why I ask before I buy something and do not treat it as a punchline. It is lonely in a specific way that friends outside this cannot fix, however kind they are. If it grew into playing in the same room at some point we would both be open to it, but that is not the ask and we are not going to lead with it.
Berlin is not a discreet city and that is precisely our problem. Her work in particular would make this awkward if it circulated, so we would want to be sure of people before saying much. That cuts both ways and we would not be offended by your caution either.
We are not looking to swap. We are not looking for anybody who wants to advise her on how to run me. And we are not interested in a couple where one of them is clearly being dragged along.