An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Switches the city centre, Birmingham

For a city this size there is almost nothing here

Posted as for_a_city_this_size

Looking for
two or three people to know properly rather than a scene to join
Experience
Seven years, most of it spent looking for people rather than doing anything.
Around
the city centre, Birmingham

A million people live here and as far as I can establish about forty of them are visible. I spent seven years assuming I had simply not found the right thing yet, and I have now accepted that there is not a great deal to find, at least not in the way there is in other cities of this size.

Thirty four, city centre, seven years of mostly looking.

I am not writing this to complain, although I accept it is reading that way so far. I am writing it because I have changed what I am asking for. I am no longer looking for somewhere to go. I am looking for two or three individual people I can know properly over a long time, which is all a scene ever is once you take the room away.

What that would look like: seeing each other regularly, talking honestly, doing things together when both of us want to, and the whole business being ordinary rather than an occasion that has to be built up to.

I am aware this is a vaguer post than most on here and that is deliberate. I am not going to describe an ideal person, because I have tried that and what it produced was a list I then measured actual human beings against. Not looking for anybody who wants to be organised into something. And not looking to be somebody's only outlet, which is a job I have had twice and am not taking again.

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