He needs something I cannot give him, and I want to be there
Posted as in_the_room_while_it_happens
- Looking for
- an experienced dominant woman, for him, with me present throughout
- Experience
- Nineteen years married, four years of talking, nothing done yet.
- Around
- Solihull, Birmingham
He told me four years ago and it took me two of those to stop treating it as a problem with our marriage. It is not one. I have tried to be what he needs and I am simply not built that way, and pretending otherwise made us both unhappy for about eighteen months before either of us admitted it.
We are forty five and forty seven, Solihull, married nineteen years, and this post took three drafts and one argument.
So we are looking for an experienced dominant woman who would take that role with him, on the clear understanding that I am in the room. Not participating. Present. That is my condition and I am not embarrassed by it: it is not distrust, it is that I would like to understand this rather than sit downstairs imagining it, and I am fairly sure I would find the imagining much harder than the watching.
He has written this part. I am not looking for a second marriage or a secret. I want structure and correction from somebody who knows what she is doing, my wife knows more about me than anybody alive, and her being there is what makes it possible rather than awkward.
We are slow. We would want to meet several times first, in public, all three of us. Not looking for anybody who would prefer I were not involved. Not looking for anything that carries on without me knowing. And we are well aware this is an unusual request, which is why it is set out at this length.