Eleven years of this, and we have never said it out loud
Posted as never_said_out_loud
- Looking for
- one couple to have a conversation with, and nothing more than that
- Experience
- Eleven years of it, entirely private, no experience of other people at all.
- Around
- Solihull, Birmingham
Between the two of us we have said none of these words to another human being. Not to a friend, not to a doctor, not once in eleven years. There is a whole part of our marriage that has never been described out loud outside our own house, and writing this is the first time either of us has tried to put it into sentences for a stranger to read.
Forty one and forty three, Solihull, married thirteen years, this for eleven of them.
We are not in any distress about it. It works, we are happy, and there is nothing here that wants fixing. What has changed is that it has started to feel strange to have something this large that is completely unwitnessed, and we have both separately arrived at the same thought, which is that we would like to know one other couple who live the same way.
So the ask is a conversation. Two couples, somewhere ordinary, a couple of hours. If it goes well, again in a month. We are not asking for anything else and we would like to be clear that we are not quietly asking for it later either, at least not in anything we have so far discussed between ourselves.
He leads. Neither of us has any interest in changing that or in hearing why we should. We are private people, we will be slow, and we may well be awkward for the first hour, because as established we have never done this in any sense of the word.