An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Submissives the city centre, Birmingham

I need somebody to make me do the things I already promised

Posted as make_me_do_the_thing

Looking for
an accountability heavy dynamic with somebody who follows up
Experience
Three years, two arrangements, both fizzled once nobody chased me.
Around
the city centre, Birmingham

I left a doctorate unfinished, I own an instrument I do not practise, and I have now told four separate people that I am about to start running. None of that is because I do not want those things. It is because nothing whatsoever happens to me when I fail to do them.

Twenty nine, city centre, submissive, three years in, and both previous arrangements died of the same thing: the other person lost interest in checking.

I am aware this reads as though I am advertising for a life coach in a leather jacket. I have thought about whether it is really kink or just executive function failure in a costume, and my honest answer is that it does not matter, because the version where somebody I want to please holds the standard works and the version where I set my own alarm does not.

So what I want is somebody who actually enjoys the follow up. Not the setting of rules, which everybody likes. The dull part, five weeks later, when I have gone quiet and the correct response is to ask why rather than let it slide.

Not looking for anything punitive that is really just theatre. Not looking for daily messages asking how I am feeling. And not looking for a person who will be bored of me by the fourth week, because that is precisely the point at which every previous version of this quietly collapsed.

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