An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Couples the city centre, Birmingham

Together or not at all, and please stop writing to one of us separately

Posted as together_or_not_at_all

Looking for
one person or another couple who can address both of us at once
Experience
Nine years together, five in this, and a lot of odd private messages.
Around
the city centre, Birmingham

In the last six months, four people have replied to a post signed by two of us and then written a second time to one of us alone, asking whether the other really has to be involved. Every single one of them. The pattern is so consistent now that we have started keeping count out of grim curiosity.

Thirty seven and thirty seven, city centre, together nine years, five of those with this in it.

So, plainly: we do everything together. Not because either of us is jealous or insecure, and not because it is a rule imposed by one on the other. It is what we both want, we arrived at it separately before we ever discussed it, and it has never once caused friction between us. It is the arrangement rather than a restriction on the arrangement.

What we are looking for is one person or another couple, for something regular. She leads and he does not, and the person we are looking for would be answering to both of us in different ways, which we would set out properly rather than leaving anybody to guess at it.

Not looking for anybody who needs to work out which of us is the real decision maker. It is both of us and the answer will not have changed by the fourth message. Not looking for anything at short notice. And if two people in the room from the very first conversation does not appeal, that is fine, and it means we are not for you.

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