My employer re-runs a check on me every January, so I am careful
Posted as annual_background_check
- Looking for
- a dominant who treats my caution as a job condition rather than a mood
- Experience
- Four years, one dynamic, ended because she wanted it out in the open.
- Around
- Plano side, Dallas
Every January my employer runs a fresh background check on everybody at my level. It has never turned up anything and it never will, and I still spend the first fortnight of the year going through my own life like an auditor. That habit is the single most useful thing to know about me before you write.
Thirty four, submissive, up on the north side where the office parks are. Four years in, one real dynamic that ran eighteen months and ended because she wanted to be open about it with her friends and I could not get to a version of that I was able to live with. She was not wrong to want it. I was not wrong to say no.
What I want is structure that lives in private and stays there. Daily check ins, rules about how I run a week, tasks that are mine and get reported on. I am very good at doing what I am told and very bad at being spontaneous about it, which some people find dull and which I have stopped apologising for.
What the caution means in practice: nothing in a photograph, nothing that names where I work, nobody in my own industry, and no expectation that this ever becomes a thing we say out loud to anyone. That is a lot to ask a person to carry. If it is too much, say so in the first message rather than the fifth.
Not looking for someone who will treat all of this as a puzzle to solve. Not looking to be talked into being braver than my mortgage allows.