Everything gets written down, and we sit down about it every six months
Posted as in_writing_reviewed
- Looking for
- a submissive who finds an agreement steadying rather than clinical
- Experience
- Nineteen years, three arrangements, all of them documented.
- Around
- Plano side, Dallas
Nothing in any arrangement I have run has ever been left to be understood. It is written, both of us have it, and we sit down twice a year and go through it line by line and change what needs changing.
People react to that in exactly two ways. Some find it the most reassuring thing they have ever heard. The rest find it airless, and I would much rather find out which one you are in the first exchange. Fifty one, north side, dominant, nineteen years. Three arrangements, of six, four and two years. All three ended by agreement at a review, which I consider a success and other people find strange.
What is in the document: what I expect, what you can expect, limits on both sides, how contact works, what happens when somebody is ill or busy or has simply had enough, and how either of us ends it without a scene. The last part is the most important one and it is the one nobody wants to write.
What I actually enjoy is service and protocol over a long stretch. Small standards held when nobody is checking. I am not a heavy player and I am not interested in becoming one.
I am also aware that a written agreement is not a magic object and that people break them. It is not there to bind anybody. It is there so that neither of us can later claim we thought something different. Not looking for anyone who wants to feel their way into it. Not looking for a person who finds the paperwork funny, which two people have.