I only take people who have never done any of this. Here is why
Posted as only_ever_beginners
- Looking for
- somebody at the very start who wants to be taught properly
- Experience
- Twenty six years, and almost all of it with people new to it.
- Around
- Oak Cliff, Dallas
Every dynamic I have had in the last fifteen years has been with somebody who arrived with no experience at all. That is deliberate and I want to explain the reason rather than let it look like a preference for the inexperienced, which is a different and worse thing.
I like the part where somebody works out what they actually want as opposed to what they read. Experienced people arrive with a shape already set, and I find that I spend my time negotiating around the edges of somebody else's history. With a beginner there is no shape yet and building one honestly, slowly, with a great deal of talking, is the part of this I enjoy most.
Fifty six, Oak Cliff, dominant, twenty six years. Retired from my first career, working part time at something quieter, and in possession of an amount of free time that will not be true of most people reading this.
What that means practically: I move slowly. Months of conversation before anything, and no I am not exaggerating. I explain what I am doing and why. I expect questions and I would be worried by their absence. I take the responsibility seriously and I know exactly how much power sits with the person who has done this before. That is the reason for the slowness.
Not looking for someone who wants to skip ahead. Not looking for anybody who is doing this to please a partner. Not looking for a person who has been at it three years and considers themselves a beginner out of modesty.