I want written feedback on how I am doing, which apparently is odd
Posted as the_review_cycle
- Looking for
- a dominant who will actually assess me rather than simply enjoy me
- Experience
- Four years, two dynamics, neither of which ever told me anything.
- Around
- uptown, Dallas
Here is the thing nobody on this board seems to offer. I want to be told, in writing, at regular intervals, how I am doing. What has improved. What has not. What you want to see different by the next time we talk about it.
Thirty, uptown, submissive, four years. Both of my dynamics were pleasant and both were completely opaque. I would ask how I was doing and get a warm and totally uninformative answer, and after a year of that I could not tell whether I had got better at anything or simply become familiar.
I understand where this comes from. I spend my working life inside a formal review process and I have discovered that I do not resent it, I need it. Being measured against a stated standard is the thing that makes me try. Vague approval does nothing for me at all and I have stopped pretending it does.
So: rules that are written down, a standard that is stated rather than implied, and a proper conversation every month or two where you tell me the truth. I can take criticism. I would rather be told something hard than be managed.
I am aware this sounds clinical for a personal advertisement. In person I am not clinical, I am anxious and talkative and I laugh at the wrong moments. Not looking for anyone who thinks structure is a way of being cold. Not looking for a dynamic that only exists when we are in the same room.