Fourth summer writing one of these and I refuse to sound bitter
Posted as four_years_on_board
- Looking for
- one person who can genuinely take both roles
- Experience
- Eleven years, both sides, one dynamic that managed it properly.
- Around
- the harbour side, Hamburg
My fourth summer writing one of these, and it took two drafts to keep the resentment out of it. Four years is a long time to be looking, and it probably says something, though possibly only that I am fussy about one thing and unwilling to stop being.
Thirty nine, switch, engineer on the water, eleven years in this. The one thing is that I need somebody who can actually do both, not in the way people mean when they tick the box. I have been through this six times. The pattern is identical: three good months in one direction, a polite attempt at the other, then a quiet retreat to whichever arrangement was comfortable.
I am not blaming anybody. Finding out you do not like something is legitimate. But it has happened six times, so I now say it in the first message, which makes me sound difficult and saves us both a season.
What I want is somebody who moves between the two without a summit meeting each time. I am better at leading and I need the other side more, which is a stupid combination to be stuck with and not one I chose.
Practically: I am away one week in two, I live near the water, and I can host whenever I am ashore. Not looking for anyone still working out what they are. Not looking for a person who will lead only if I ask first. Not looking to have this year's version of the same conversation.