An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Switches Altona, Hamburg

Friends for a year first, and I do mean a year

Posted as friends_first_year

Looking for
a friendship that might, much later, become something else
Experience
Sixteen years, four dynamics, the good ones all began as friendships.
Around
Altona, Hamburg

Every arrangement I have had that was worth anything started as a friendship that ran at least a year before either of us said a word about the rest of it. Every one that started the other way round was finished inside four months. Four for four, both directions. At some point a person has to believe their own evidence.

Forty five, switch, Altona, sixteen years in. So I am posting for something that will look, for a long time, like nothing at all. Meeting for a walk. Arguing about a film. Knowing what is happening in each other's week. And then, possibly, at some point neither of us has scheduled, the other conversation.

I understand this is a strange thing to want from a personals board, and that it asks somebody to put in an enormous amount on a maybe. Two things in my defence. A friendship is worth having in itself and I am not offering it as a waiting room. And if after a year neither of us wants anything more, I will have gained a friend, which at forty five is harder to come by than the other thing.

I lead and follow about equally and I have no strong sense of which way this would eventually go.

Not looking for anyone who will treat this as a technique for being patient. Not looking for a person who needs it defined now. Not looking to be somebody's quiet option while they see other people, which is fine in itself and is not what I am describing.

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