An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Dominants St Pauli side, Hamburg

If you want to meet, propose a day. That is the entire post

Posted as not_your_calendar

Looking for
somebody capable of suggesting a time without being prompted four times
Experience
Ten years, four dynamics, an enormous amount of wasted typing.
Around
St Pauli side, Hamburg

Since February I have had nine conversations that were genuinely good and not one of them produced a meeting. In every single case the same thing happened. We talked, it went well, and then I was the only person who ever suggested an actual day.

Thirty five, dominant, St Pauli side, ten years in. I am willing to lead in most senses of the word. I am not willing to be the administrative department of somebody else's interest in me.

Here is what I think is happening, and I say it without much malice. Writing to a dominant is enjoyable and safe. Meeting one is not. So the conversation quietly becomes the thing, and it can run for months, and the person at the other end genuinely believes they are pursuing something.

What I want is a long dynamic with a submissive woman. Structure, service, a great deal of ordinary time together, and correction that is verbal far more often than physical. I am patient inside a dynamic and impatient before one, which I accept is an odd combination to hold.

So: read this, and if it appeals, write and put a day in the message. Two days would be better. If neither works I will suggest others and we will manage it like adults. Not looking for a correspondence. Not looking for anyone who needs three weeks of reassurance before a coffee. Not looking to be tested by being kept waiting, which is a strategy I have seen twice and which works on nobody.

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