An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Dominants the east of the city, Hamburg

I want to own somebody, and I have watched that sentence empty a room

Posted as word_people_flinch_at

Looking for
a submissive for whom belonging to someone is the whole point
Experience
Fourteen years, two arrangements, both of them total.
Around
the east of the city, Hamburg

There is a word for what I want and using it costs me about four fifths of the replies I would otherwise get. I am going to use it anyway, because the alternative is a month of pleasant conversation with somebody who wanted something else entirely.

Thirty eight, dominant, east of the city, fourteen years. What I want is ownership. Not as a scene, not as a title used on a Friday. An arrangement in which a person is genuinely mine, with the day to day authority that implies, running for years rather than months.

What it actually looks like is far duller than the word suggests. Knowing where somebody is. Rules about sleep and food and how the week is spent, kept because they were agreed to. A standing evening. Reports. Correction. Long stretches of ordinary domestic time. Very little of it would look remarkable from outside.

What it is not: control of anybody's money, isolation from their friends, or an arrangement somebody cannot leave. All three get proposed to me by people who have read the word and understood something else by it, and I end those conversations quickly. Both previous arrangements ended by agreement and I am still on good terms with one of them.

Not looking for a part time version. Not looking for anyone who wants to work up to it across a year, because in my experience the people who need to work up to it discover they wanted something adjacent. Not looking for anybody currently in a fragile situation.

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