Married thirty years and we started this two years ago, both terrified
Posted as late_and_cheerful
- Looking for
- an experienced couple who will talk to us without laughing
- Experience
- Thirty years married, two years of this, both of us beginners.
- Around
- the east of the city, Hamburg
We were monogamous and conventional for twenty eight years, and then one evening a conversation happened that neither of us had planned, and the two years since have been the strangest and best of the marriage. We are fifty eight and sixty one and we have very little idea what we are doing.
Everything we know we have taught ourselves from books and a few extremely careful experiments in our own house. He leads, she does not, and the surprise for both of us was how quickly that felt natural after three decades of something else entirely.
What we would like is to talk to a couple who have been doing this for years. Not to play with. To ask the unglamorous questions, of which we have a written list, and several of which we are embarrassed by. How do you stop it becoming the only subject in the house. What do you do when one of you is not in the mood for a month. Whether anybody tells their grown children, and how that went.
We know we are late to it and that there is something faintly comic about two people our age discovering something in their fifties. We have decided to be cheerful about that rather than sheepish.
Not looking for anyone who wants to demonstrate anything. Not looking to be an audience. Not looking for advice from a couple who began last year, which we have already had at length from somebody who told us we were doing it wrong.