He is away for two months at a time and we agreed this together
Posted as while_he_is_at_sea
- Looking for
- a dominant for me, for the long stretches when he is gone
- Experience
- Sixteen years married, four years with an open arrangement.
- Around
- the harbour side, Hamburg
He is away for eight or nine weeks at a time and has been for most of our marriage. Four years ago we stopped pretending that was fine and had the conversation properly, and what came out of it is that when he is gone I have an arrangement of my own, and when he is home I do not.
I am forty four, he is forty seven, we live near the harbour and we have been married sixteen years. He is not in this. He is not submissive, he is not curious, he has no wish to meet anybody, and none of that is likely to change. He has read this post and agreed the wording of it.
What I want is a dominant, for a long arrangement that runs in blocks. Two months of something regular, then two months of nothing but occasional contact, then two months again. It is a strange rhythm and it has already ended one thing, because the man could not tolerate the off period and eventually admitted he had been quietly miserable throughout it.
So I am being clear this time. The off period is not a pause to be negotiated around. It is half the arrangement. I am submissive, I have been in this eleven years, and I want structure rather than events.
Not looking for anyone who wants to meet my husband. Not looking for a person who will ask, every time, whether he really knows. Not looking for anybody who assumes the marriage is the problem, because it is not.