An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Dominants St Pauli side, Hamburg

Non binary, dominant, and I would rather that were paragraph four

Posted as not_a_category

Looking for
a submissive who has done their own thinking and does not need a seminar
Experience
Seven years, three dynamics, two of them long.
Around
St Pauli side, Hamburg

Roughly half the messages I receive are about my gender rather than about anything I have written. They are almost all well meant, and they are exhausting in the specific way that only well meant things are.

Thirty, dominant, St Pauli side, seven years. What I want is a long dynamic with a submissive of any gender who has done their own thinking already. Not perfectly. Nobody has to be fluent. They simply need to be past the stage where I am primarily an interesting question.

The dynamic itself is fairly traditional in shape. Protocol, service, standing rules, an evening a week that does not move, correction that is spoken and specific. I like formality. I am told I am strict and I would say I am consistent, which is a different thing that looks identical from outside.

Two of my three dynamics ran for years and both ended for ordinary life reasons. I still see one of them for dinner every few months. I work shifts in a care setting, so my week is unpredictable a fortnight at a time. You get the rota the moment I have it.

Not looking to be anybody's first thought about any of this. Not looking for someone who uses the right words carefully and then waits to be praised for it. Not looking for a dynamic in which my gender is part of the appeal, which is a specific thing that happens and which I can spot at once.

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