Twenty years in, offering to mentor a newer dominant, nothing else
Posted as mentor_not_master
- Looking for
- a newer top who wants somebody to think out loud with
- Experience
- Twenty two years, three long dynamics, and a lot of mistakes to describe.
- Around
- Midtown, Houston
This is not a dating post and I would like it read as what it is.
I have been doing this for twenty two years, in Houston for most of them. In that time three people took the trouble to teach me things when they had no reason to, and I have never properly repaid that. So this is an offer to sit with somebody newer and talk about the parts that nobody puts in the introductory articles. Specifically: how to hear a no that is not said out loud. What to do in the twenty minutes after something goes wrong. How to notice that you have started enjoying being deferred to for its own sake, which is the most common way a decent person turns into a bad one. Negotiation that is not just a checklist. How to end something without wrecking somebody.
I am not offering to play with you, I am not looking for a partner, and I am not interested in anything physical. Coffee, long conversations, the occasional phone call when you have made a mess of something. Any gender, any orientation. If you are a woman who would rather have this conversation with another woman, I know several and would say so plainly. Nothing changes hands. This is not a service and there is nothing here for sale. Fifty one, patient, and fully aware that unsolicited mentorship from a man my age can read badly, which is exactly why I have written it out this plainly.